Mr Leather Pants

Originally published at Scribd on July 6, 2011

Realistically, I could have done a better job with this one. Problem is, when I wrote the majority of it, I was away from my computer at the time, so I had to try to remember the song. And I did a poor job of doing so, completely messing up the rhythm. I think it still works, but not as well as it could have done.

Mr. Leather Pants
(to the tune of “Mr. Fancy Pants” by Jonathan Coulton)

Note: Lyrics in parentheses are spoken in a stage whisper.

(Hey Mr. Leather Pants!)

Chances are your pants are not as kinky as the pair
Of kinky leather pants that Mr. Leather Pants will wear
But though he’s got protection, people think that he’s a perv
It’s Minecraft style
But walk one mile
And you won’t like those pants…

To make your pants is easy if you really don’t know how:
You get a piece of leather for dismembering a cow
And when you’ve gathered seven, you arrange them on the bench
Before your eyes
(In just one size)
You’ve got your pair of pants…

People just don’t care for wearing leather pants
The whole world sighed,
“They’re only hide!”
I’m glad that they’re not wool…

(Hey Mr. Leather Pants!)

They get a little stinky, and it’s really hard to sneak
‘Cause every single motion makes a tiny little squeak
The creepers hear you coming and they blow up in your face
You almost died
So you decide
You must upgrade those pants…

I’m a little scared of wearing leather pants
But iron clangs
And clanks and bangs
And diamond’s such a waste…

Original lyrics © 2005-6 Jonathan Coulton
Parody lyrics © 2011 Mark A. Cooper

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